Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Being a foreigner

I was born in Colombia, but my parents left Colombia when I was 2 years old, then lived in Venezuela until I was 12years old, the lived 3 years in Colombia, then back to Venezuela, and now in England from my 28 to my 46 years old.

I had 10 different schools between primary & secondary because of my parents moving country or just moving area + 1 skipped 1 year school because an administrative mistake, they typed me in 1 year ahead grade school when I moved back to Venezuela. 

I have 3 nationalities: Colombian, Venezuelan & English. 

 I have the flags of them and use them on my door every time there is a football match, even when I loved and I am very grateful of all the good people and time I had on the 3 of them, I don't feel I am a typical person in any of them. I do weird things in all of them without intention. 

For example, I love going to Colombia, but I find hard when people thinks I am rich for leaving outside and I don't have an equal treatment or I am abused. Last time I bought a basket of beer by phone on my uncle shop for Christmas day for example; he came along with the baskets that everybody bought to him. And mine was some very expensive foreign cans whilst everybody else he sold Colombian beer in normal glass bottles. I don't drink at all, but my beer basket was quite expensive and drank first than all the others - for no reason-. 

 Some foreigner things really put me off, some of them I can just laugh at myself. For example, in England, I remember when Richard proposed me to be his partner. I told to him I didn't have any business, I was on holiday! He explained me the thing .. and I told him that it was nice from him but I didn't want a partner any way, I had 28 years old and I was having fun on my own; and found ridiculous to play to be girlfriend with someone I was not really interested in the game. I told him just to keep being friends, I was going to fly away in few months time. I showed to him a photo of my 50 people family in Colombia and I told him one day I would like to find someone to have my own family with, not 50 people but a family of 4, and for that is not a partner what I needed; and that was nothing Richard had in mind at all. 

So we were friends, until one day he told me he wanted to make a family with me, not just being friends. 

 Another anecdote, in England, one day I put Max my 3 years old boy to sleep in the car - as always- he didn't sleep any other way. That day I drove 1 block down, to the B&Q shop close to us. I had a walkie talkie on hand to listen to Max -is better that baby monitors- and when I came out - because of the walkie talkie noise- lots of people was around my car telling me I was a bad mother for letting my boy in the car alone; and a police told me they could call social services and take my son from me for leaving him in the car. I didn't try to explain them that my son wouldn't sleep his siesta any other place but in that car seat and I had some things to sort at home. I was scared. But the police after scare me with taking my son, let me go - I think he saw Max & I were fine each other-. I think those guys woke up Max from his nap; but when I came back and took him from them, he was listening to them quite placid. 
But that day I felt a foreigner as I knew there was not danger to my son but a rule that was meaningless to me. 

 I kind of chose to live with those rules when I moved to England. England has many rules that are above the individual common sense to protect the whole; and they work for the most of the kids not to be abandoned; that has a value that is extremely appreciated by me, so now I do follow those rules as much as I can. If few times I get out just because I didn't know them yet.

 Another sample of foreign me, few weeks ago I offered to bring baked bread for the tea to my office work. And one of the guys there said "be careful with Maria's bread, is from Colombia, it could have drugs" .. and I just stared at him and he got silent; but after so many years working for this guy, .. this guy doesn't know me at all. I think he and most people in that room has taken baked drugs at some point. I was probably the only one in the room that wouldn't. And he was probably talking about himself more than about me. But it does still bother me; why people thinks Colombia has only drugs.

 Unfortunately there is always in Colombia's history 1 drug dealer making enough money to make seem the whole country is his drug farm, but Colombians don't like drugs. There is currently a left party movement to make drugs legal, which no wonder where they got the money from. Drugs cause to "society" and families problems this "socialists" cannot see.. Words and their forgotten meaning. 

 I am no drugadict for being Colombian; I would do campaign anti-drugs. I do wake up at 6AM, homemade arepas or bread, love to exercise and dress nice and I am workaholic; is what most Colombians do. 

I am no rich for being English I do travel a lot because of it, and travelling keeps my budget on the line.

I am not socialist for being Venezuelan; I am scared of the word. When someone label themselves as socialist or left, I wonder what they want of me and I get away of them. 

 Feeling a foreigner has been with me since ever. 

I do like to see the attachment that my kids Emily & Max feel to her locality; but I don't think it will last as we keep traveling and they keep thinking in abroad places.

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